I Got Clean, Not Perfect.
Just a little reminder to both the public as well as myself. I kill myself daily as a perfectionist. It's been studied to death- the link between perfectionism & addiction. While reading about it I've decided it's the story of the chicken or the egg all over again. One can be a natural born perfectionist (like myself) & it will drive you to the point of using drugs to quiet the negative chatter in your mind. On the other hand one can be driven to addiction for a multitude of other reasons as an escape, but once an addict gets clean they seem to feel a constant struggle to feel "normal" or most importantly- good enough. The negative chatter that plays through my mind daily is crippling. It's like when you go shopping or out to eat somewhere. You can always hear everyone around you speaking or you can be involved in conversation yourself, but you always have that background music playing. Sometimes you stop and realize that you didn't even not...