just another day back then...
It was like any other morning. We woke up, fought til we got our fix and I got into the shower to get ready for work.
When I got out my left leg almost buckled at the knee in excruciating pain.
"What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I looked down and saw a bit of redness and swelling that equated to maybe the size of a bug bite.
I walked into our bedroom. "It seriously feels like I got kicked in the leg by a damn Sumo wrestler. I can barely walk on it without pain." "Oh you're just trying to change the subject because you know I'm right about this!" At this point, I forgot what the fuck we were even arguing about." "Okay Michael, you're right. I'm lying. Never mind." I got dressed and headed out for my 16 hour day of work.
When I got there I hobbled through the door and showed the older woman I was relieving because I was truly stumped. I whipped down my pants without thought because it hurt so badly I figured maybe she had some sort of clue. It was deeper red and spreading.
"Spider bite." She said. "Definitely."
"But I don't know how or where?..."
I began working. I was able to limp around for an hour. I had to sit down to type up some paper work. When I finished I went to stand and couldn't.
"SAVITAAAA!" I screamed to my coworker who came running in. "Dude. I cannot put ANY pressure on this. Like, I literally can't stand up without it throbbing." I was in tears and putting all my weight on the desk. We pulled out a wheelchair. I worked while wheeling myself around in a fucking wheelchair for two hours!
Until, I couldn't anymore. I was in the most pain I've ever felt at that point in my life. And I was falling asleep on myself." I told my boss I needed to leave.
On the drive home I had to repeatedly smack myself in the face to remain awake to get there. I crawled into my bed and slept for four hours. When I woke up I realized my pant leg felt like a sausage casing and the throbbing was intensified. I could barely get out of my pants without having to cut them off . The swelling had grown immensely and the redness was now reaching a deep purple color.
Mike forced me to go to urgent care. Upon arrival my temperature was 102.7. The nurse said "I want you to put this in your pipe and smoke it-you may be leaving here in an ambulance tonight." I didn't. They gave me a shot of antibiotics and drew a border around the swelling and told us if my temp goes up even a fraction of a degree or the swelling spreads outside of the line I needed to report to the ER immediately.
I woke up the next morning around 5 am to Mike shoving a thermometer in my mouth. 103.4. "We're going. Now Kelly. I'm not playing."
I didn't fight it because I felt like I was going to die. I played it off like I was fine but I was scared.
They took me in immediately with a temp of 104.7. Laying in the bed the nurse told me he was going to hook me to an IV.
"Shit. Fuck. Fuck." I didn't even think about my trackmarks. I had only been using intravenously for three months so it didn't even cross my mind. There was no way around this one...
"Oh, you're ambidextrous huh?" I looked over at Mike like "this dude is fucking joking right?!"
The first doctor was stumped. He came back with a surgeon. The surgeon came in, checked me out, and left. When he came back he said "Kelly. I'm thinking this may be Necrotizing Fasciitis."
"What is THAT?!"
"Its a flesh eating bacteria. Its life or death. We need to get you prepped for anesthesia because we need to operate as soon as possible. Have you cut or been bitten or punctured your leg with anything recently?"
Oh. My. God. My heart sank.
"No."
"Okay I'll be back to get you prepared for the OR. Call whoever you need to now."
I looked over at Mike. He was crying. "Life or death?!"
I said " you know what this is from?!" He kept looking at the floor and shook his head yes.
It hadn't even occurred to me for a second prior to hearing the doctor ask about a "puncture" to my leg.
Two days prior I was struggling to hit a vein. We tried my leg and missed a full shot under my skin. This is an infection. This is why I have been in such pain, high temps, and falling asleep on myself.
From the time I walked through the doors at the ER till I entered the operating room it had been 8 minutes. I didn't even have time to panic before I was out.
I woke up with a gaping wound in my leg larger than two of my fists. I remained in recovery for about a week and a half.
This drug takes such a hold over a persons mind, body, and soul that I was shooting up laying in my hospital bed. I memorized the nurses' rounds so I could do it when I knew I wouldn't be interrupted.
The surgeon came in on the last day to let me know that I was being discharged with the wound left open to heal from the inside out but, not after I was to meet with a social worker to discuss my "options." They wanted me to seek out help for my addiction.
"Kelly, please seek treatment soon. You won this round but, this drug will destroy you unless you decide enough is enough, today. Hopefully you do . Before its too late."
& I was discharged.
Only to leave the hospital and pull over up the road to shoot up the 2 weeks worth of pain killers I was sent home with in one shot.
When I got out my left leg almost buckled at the knee in excruciating pain.
"What the fuck?" I thought to myself. I looked down and saw a bit of redness and swelling that equated to maybe the size of a bug bite.
I walked into our bedroom. "It seriously feels like I got kicked in the leg by a damn Sumo wrestler. I can barely walk on it without pain." "Oh you're just trying to change the subject because you know I'm right about this!" At this point, I forgot what the fuck we were even arguing about." "Okay Michael, you're right. I'm lying. Never mind." I got dressed and headed out for my 16 hour day of work.
When I got there I hobbled through the door and showed the older woman I was relieving because I was truly stumped. I whipped down my pants without thought because it hurt so badly I figured maybe she had some sort of clue. It was deeper red and spreading.
"Spider bite." She said. "Definitely."
"But I don't know how or where?..."
I began working. I was able to limp around for an hour. I had to sit down to type up some paper work. When I finished I went to stand and couldn't.
"SAVITAAAA!" I screamed to my coworker who came running in. "Dude. I cannot put ANY pressure on this. Like, I literally can't stand up without it throbbing." I was in tears and putting all my weight on the desk. We pulled out a wheelchair. I worked while wheeling myself around in a fucking wheelchair for two hours!
Until, I couldn't anymore. I was in the most pain I've ever felt at that point in my life. And I was falling asleep on myself." I told my boss I needed to leave.
On the drive home I had to repeatedly smack myself in the face to remain awake to get there. I crawled into my bed and slept for four hours. When I woke up I realized my pant leg felt like a sausage casing and the throbbing was intensified. I could barely get out of my pants without having to cut them off . The swelling had grown immensely and the redness was now reaching a deep purple color.
Mike forced me to go to urgent care. Upon arrival my temperature was 102.7. The nurse said "I want you to put this in your pipe and smoke it-you may be leaving here in an ambulance tonight." I didn't. They gave me a shot of antibiotics and drew a border around the swelling and told us if my temp goes up even a fraction of a degree or the swelling spreads outside of the line I needed to report to the ER immediately.
I woke up the next morning around 5 am to Mike shoving a thermometer in my mouth. 103.4. "We're going. Now Kelly. I'm not playing."
I didn't fight it because I felt like I was going to die. I played it off like I was fine but I was scared.
They took me in immediately with a temp of 104.7. Laying in the bed the nurse told me he was going to hook me to an IV.
"Shit. Fuck. Fuck." I didn't even think about my trackmarks. I had only been using intravenously for three months so it didn't even cross my mind. There was no way around this one...
"Oh, you're ambidextrous huh?" I looked over at Mike like "this dude is fucking joking right?!"
The first doctor was stumped. He came back with a surgeon. The surgeon came in, checked me out, and left. When he came back he said "Kelly. I'm thinking this may be Necrotizing Fasciitis."
"What is THAT?!"
"Its a flesh eating bacteria. Its life or death. We need to get you prepped for anesthesia because we need to operate as soon as possible. Have you cut or been bitten or punctured your leg with anything recently?"
Oh. My. God. My heart sank.
"No."
"Okay I'll be back to get you prepared for the OR. Call whoever you need to now."
I looked over at Mike. He was crying. "Life or death?!"
I said " you know what this is from?!" He kept looking at the floor and shook his head yes.
It hadn't even occurred to me for a second prior to hearing the doctor ask about a "puncture" to my leg.
Two days prior I was struggling to hit a vein. We tried my leg and missed a full shot under my skin. This is an infection. This is why I have been in such pain, high temps, and falling asleep on myself.
From the time I walked through the doors at the ER till I entered the operating room it had been 8 minutes. I didn't even have time to panic before I was out.
I woke up with a gaping wound in my leg larger than two of my fists. I remained in recovery for about a week and a half.
This drug takes such a hold over a persons mind, body, and soul that I was shooting up laying in my hospital bed. I memorized the nurses' rounds so I could do it when I knew I wouldn't be interrupted.
The surgeon came in on the last day to let me know that I was being discharged with the wound left open to heal from the inside out but, not after I was to meet with a social worker to discuss my "options." They wanted me to seek out help for my addiction.
"Kelly, please seek treatment soon. You won this round but, this drug will destroy you unless you decide enough is enough, today. Hopefully you do . Before its too late."
& I was discharged.
Only to leave the hospital and pull over up the road to shoot up the 2 weeks worth of pain killers I was sent home with in one shot.
It's so peculiar that what once felt like the only thing allowing you to function could also be the 1 thing that sorta slaps you in the face and makes you choose to stop. Kelly you have learned the hard way and now are an inspiration to many with the strength that you now have
ReplyDeleteIt's so peculiar that what once felt like the only thing allowing you to function could also be the 1 thing that sorta slaps you in the face and makes you choose to stop. Kelly you have learned the hard way and now are an inspiration to many with the strength that you now have
ReplyDelete